Hello!

First of all let me say that I've enjoyed reading the rules and am looking forward to playing the game. What you have here feels streamlined, elegant, and professional. A few things I particularly like:

1. The statement of intent in the overview is clear, well-organized, and sets a good tone for the project.

2. The use of italics to highlight key concepts, and the way these concepts lead logically from one to the next, really helps understanding.

3. The rules in general are well-organized and thoughtfully laid out. I'll have more specific thoughts on them (if you allow) later.

I have a few proofreading suggestions, if I may. I'm also including a few grammar/editorial suggestions. Please let me know if I've overstepped my bounds. As mentioned, these are from the Introduction section of 0.4.4.

1. "vanguard" rather than "Vanguard" with a capital V.

2. "planetary cannon" rather than "planetary canon" with one n.

3. I might use "we want to add all the rules that will make the game possible" rather than "that would make the game possible"

4. I suggest "simple and effective rules for fighting in enclosed" rather than "simple and effective alternatives to fight in enclosed"

5. Perhaps "nor infringement on" rather than "nor infringing on".

Hope this stuff is useful. I should have some more up fairly soon.

Well, well, well... I think I want to change your nick to Corporal INDispensable! First, thanks for the kind comments. Second, you have NOT over-stepped any boundaries... far the contrary, have fresh eyes with a positive critic is SUPER! THANKS!!!

Corporal Dispensable wrote:

First of all let me say that I've enjoyed reading the rules and am looking forward to playing the game. What you have here feels streamlined, elegant, and professional. A few things I particularly like: 1. The statement of intent in the overview is clear, well-organized, and sets a good tone for the project. 2. The use of italics to highlight key concepts, and the way these concepts lead logically from one to the next, really helps understanding. 3. The rules in general are well-organized and thoughtfully laid out. I'll have more specific thoughts on them (if you allow) later.

You should have seen TLRBs of the past! What a mess! Hehehehe... every time we take suggestions from good folks like you to make it better. We owe EVERYONE for how the manual is turning out. One of the things that we want is to make it 'flow' and easy to read. I'm glad we are achieving the goal. We are not there yet, but we are working on it. One day we hope someone who would like to illustrate TLRB, make a nice cover page and other stuff.

I'm (personally) glad you like the use of italics on certain game concepts. Sometimes I think is 'too much'. If you think that I'm overdoing it, please let me know.

Corporal Dispensable wrote:

I have a few proofreading suggestions, if I may. I'm also including a few grammar/editorial suggestions. Please let me know if I've overstepped my bounds. As mentioned, these are from the Introduction section of 0.4.4. 1. "vanguard" rather than "Vanguard" with a capital V. 2. "planetary cannon" rather than "planetary canon" with one n. 3. I might use "we want to add all the rules that will make the game possible" rather than "that would make the game possible" 4. I suggest "simple and effective rules for fighting in enclosed" rather than "simple and effective alternatives to fight in enclosed" 5. Perhaps "nor infringement on" rather than "nor infringing on". Hope this stuff is useful. I should have some more up fairly soon.

Thanks for the suggestions! One thing I would ask, is that you include the page where the horror error was seen. That way I can find it easier. I will check once I get my hands on my TLRB master copy, to fix the items. In response to your items...

2. OPPS! I just checked... for those whose first language is not English (like me) a 'canon' is an edict, a commandment, a set of rules and a 'cannon' is the weapon that makes thing go BOOM! Thanks! In which page I find the misspelling? Incidentally, Canon is the camera brand!

I added the misspelling item (#2) to the 'TRLB v0.4.4: Notes for next revision' thread. Other will be added upon confirming error with the Master Script. Well, keep the comments, suggestions, corrections and opinions coming! All of them are welcomed!

Thank you!

Glad some of this was useful. I'll get back to work, and will be sure to include page numbers with future updates.

I just sat down to make the suggested changes. THANK YOU! I changed all the items.

Just to let you know, I noticed that all instances of canon on TLRB are misspelled cannon. I will find/replaced them all... so don't worry too much about them!