Hello again. Here are a few more thoughts on 0.4.4, this time pertaining to the "Game Mechanics" section.
I've included page numbers, and am trying a different format to make this stuff easier to read. Let me know what you think.

First, some general comments.

1) Overall, this section is well-written, nicely organized, and easy to understand. I've taught (and been taught) how to play wargames, and I think even a total newcomer would be able to start learning pretty easily.

2) The explanation to 40K players is nicely written, as is the 'What You Will Need' section. I especially like the advice on picking your squad.

3) The explanation of small and large targets is clear and concise.

4) Providing some counters with the rule book is a great idea.

Now, a few suggestions.

1) Ellipses (...) don't need a space after them.

2) You may wish to use lower-case letters for terms like campaign, squad, etc. unless they are the titles of sections.

3) Page 9
'the bitter struggle of a Death Squads battle can take place'
rather than
'struggle of a Death Squad battle take place' (Page Nine)

4) Page 9
'Games Workshop makes some excellent terrain, for both their fantasy and 40K ranges, which can be purchased via their website.'
rather than
'Games Workshop makes some excellent terrain that can be purchased via...from both the fantasy and...'

5) Page 9
'games together you can create a campaign system' without capital C
rather than
'create a Campaign system' with capital C

6) Page 9
'you will soon learn how to arm'
rather than
'you soon learn how to arm'

7) Page 10
'If you play 40K you can already guess most of them...'
rather than
'you will already guess'

Once again, these are only my suggestions. Use, delete, or ignore them as you like!

My replies... 'by the numbers'! Makes it easier to respond!

1) Thanks! That is the goal. Many of fan-based games that draw from existing games (like the grand-father of fan-based 40k skirmish World in Arms) are just MODS. They require players to have rules of the games they are pulling its base on, and know how to play it... just to have to 'break' those rules all over to adapt to the Mod. We want you, the experience gamer, to be able to take a complete newbie and play one introduction game... then the rookie could take just our manual and get all the information he needs. Once he plays couple of games, he could pick up the 40k manual and have a much easier time learning, because many rules would be similar... and he would be able to 'drop' the rules that address details (such as climbing and experience) in exchange for a broader spectrum (bigger army), just like 40k players do when they learn Apocalypse.

2) We debated long time ago about the section of 'What You Will Need'... things kept creeping in. Glad to see that the section is working as intended.

3) You mean the 'grey box' on page 29? LOL! If you ONLY knew how much we 'fought' about defining them! HA! Your comments made the day for me.

4) We have a guy at the local store that LOVES Necromunda, but there is no chance in hell he would tip models! He uses beads (which is fine)... then DaBank pulled some resources and we got SUPER lucky and got counters made. Later a controversy arose regarding the 'status' of the model vs the 'state' of the model. As explained in TLRB, a model whose 'status' is Knocked Down, is not necessarily in a laying face-up 'state'. The tipping the model face-up is to mark his 'status' (he is KD) not necessarily determines exactly where he 'fell'... Did the fighter fell behind the barricade he used for cover when he got shot or did he fell in top of it? How about falling OVER the barricade and laying in front of it? Rather than deal with complicated mechanics, we just resolved the issue by granting the model a +2 to their Cover Save. You can still see him, but now he would have (in the case of the barricade) a Cover Save of 3+... making it least palatable to keep shooting, specially with other targets available.

Now, comments to your few suggestions.

1) Ellipses (...) don't need a space after them. Uhhh? Can you give me an example on TLRB where is this? I think I lost you. On that same topic... ALWAYS wanted to know; where do you put the period? I mean..

Quote:

(Right now it is punctuated like this.)

2) You may wish to use lower-case letters for terms like campaign, squad, etc. unless they are the titles of sections. I capitalize them so to make reference that the element is a game concept, rather than a military concept. If I write some fluff (and I do write lots of stuff for TLRB) regarding a squad within an Imperial Guard regiment fighting on a long campaign, I literally mean a group of men fighting a war. If I write about a Squad within an Imperial Guard regiment fighting on a long Campaign, I literally mean a player's IG group (the Squad) participating on a long series of interconnected games (the Campaign.) The suggestion was made when TLRB was on v0.0.2... it was hard to jump back and forth from fluff to game terms. Thanks for the suggestion though.

3) Page 9
'the bitter struggle of a Death Squads battle can take place': Changed.

4) Page 9
'Games Workshop makes some excellent terrain, for both their fantasy and 40K ranges, which can be purchased via their website.': LOL! Changed... I'm such a dweeb!

5) Page 9
'games together you can create a campaign system' without capital C[/color]: Unchanged; as noted above is capitalized to make a differentiation (and emphasis) on a game term.

6) Page 9
'you will soon learn how to arm': Changed.

7) Page 10
'If you play 40K you can already guess most of them...': Changed.



Thanks again for your great contributions! Keep 'em coming!

Nice work, all of this helps out. It makes the TRLB look great.

Thanks, guys. I'm glad some of these are coming in handy. A brief reply to some points:

Ellipses!
Can you give me an example on TLRB where is this?
I see it on page 6: 'Sounds like kill team? Far from it... because now' and 'battles in space... but when'. So far, it seems to be the pattern.
This might be just how the program you're using writes the ellipses. If it is, don't worry about it. That space is no big deal.

ALWAYS wanted to know; where do you put the period?
If you're using it as a pause, or to show someone trailing off at the end of the sentence, no period, no nothin'.
If you're using it to take out the end of a sentence you're quoting, then the period comes right after, so you end up with four dots. It's ugly, but it's true.

Your response to number 2, about using capitalization to distinguish game concepts and military concepts, totally makes sense. Carry on!

Ok, that is good info as I have not had a grammar class in over 10 years and most of this basic stuff I have forgotten. The better the TRLB is written the more "legitimate" it will be.